How Do I Know That I’m Doing the Right Thing?

In just a few short weeks, I will be starting my first semester of college. I have never been more excited to explore and live life on my own in a new place. But, I still have my doubts sometimes.

I have doubts about my major and my future career choice. How do I know that the major I chose is the right one for me? Am I following the right path? Will I be happy with a career in this field?

Deciding your future can be so so terrifying. I know it was for me. I am a person with many different interests. I want to explore every single major that my school offers, so how was I supposed to narrow it down to just one? I love to write and read, so maybe English? But I am also so interested in the human mind. Maybe I’ll go with psychology. Buuuutt, I also think I would enjoy political science. I have never just been passionate about one thing- I have always been fascinated by the entire world. It’s hard to have to eliminate many of my interests just so that I can focus on one, maybe two if I double major.

Luckily, the one thing that I haven’t had any doubts about is my school- I am so excited to be attending such a beautiful campus surrounded by some really amazing people. I fell in love with the campus the first time I set foot there, and I knew it was the place for me. Plus, it is so close to the beach, which is my favorite place in the world. It’s such a relief knowing that I look forward to going to school next year, which means that I have made at least one right decision when it comes to deciding my future.

I realized I shouldn’t doubt myself so much. I know who I am and I know what I like. As long as I’m always working hard towards my goals, I know I will be okay. Besides, if I really don’t enjoy the classes I’m taking, I can always switch my major.

The future is a scary place. Venturing into the unknown always is. But follow your heart and it will lead you on the right path.

Good luck with your future.

Xo, Jess

A Writing Update.

I have finally started a new writing project again!! I know that I have posted about my writing numerous times on this blog, but I never really stay up to date on updating you guys.

BUT, a couple weeks ago, I came up with a really great story idea for a contemporary YA romance, and it is the only thing consuming my thoughts at the moment. Camp NaNo started at the beginning of July, and I decided (very last minute) that I wanted to participate. I tried participating last year, but I completely failed and gave up. The story I was writing wasn’t something that I was passionate about, so it was hard to get myself to write.

However, this time around, I completely outlined a novel that I am so excited about. I haven’t been this motivated to write in a really long time, so I know that this is what I need to dedicate my time to.

Currently, I am a little over 3,000 words into this novel. I have just begun introducing my characters, and there haven’t been any major plot points yet. My goal for the Camp was to hit 10,000 words, but I don’t know if that will actually happen. I am trying not to force myself to write too much because I don’t want to burn out and get discouraged.

There is about a week left of NaNo so I am hoping to write about 1000-1500 words a day to reach my goal, but that is definitely not a sure thing.

I am really excited to get deeper into it, and my plan is to update you guys on how it is going every week. I will also give more details on the plot itself once I have established more of it because my ideas are constantly changing, so I don’t want to give a synopsis just yet!

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Are you participating in Camp NaNo this month? How far along into your writing project are you?

Xo, Jess

Dear 2017

Dear 2017,

You were one of the craziest years of my life. So much had happened, both good and bad. I went through a lot. I’ve also grown so much.

So I just want to say thank you.

Thank you for teaching me to give it all I’ve got if I want to accomplish my dreams. Thank you for teaching me to believe in myself and in my work. Thank you for teaching me to slow down, take a deep breath, and take one step at a time. Thank you for bringing the most amazing people into my life. Thank you for giving me so many amazing opportunities. Thank you for showing me the importance of hard work.

Looking back at my journal, I can see that I really focused on myself this year. I wanted a chance to reinvent myself and feel like me again. However, I also lost myself towards the end of the year. I was in a strange and unfamiliar place that I am only starting to come out of now.

This year, I pierced my ear again, read more than ever before, went on a weeklong vacation with my family (over 20 of us), applied to colleges, got my first (and second) job, went camping, started my senior year of high school, got into 9 colleges, and became an adult (!!).

I am finally in a happy place in my life. I want to continue down this road, and make 2018 even more memorable than 2017.

dear 2018,

I promise to make you wonderful.

Journal Entries About Writing

the thing about writing is that sometimes you feel as though you have nothing to write. you think your words are not worthy enough to be put on paper. but writing is for you. it does not need to meet anyone’s standards. all that you need is a pen and a thought. we all have plenty of those. the rest will follow naturally.

when i write, i can feel all the energy inside me flowing. i feel powerful, indestructible.  words are a vital part of my existence. i would be incredibly lost without them. there’s something inside me that draws me to this art form constantly. this need i have for writing is inescapable.

put the pen to the edge of the paper, my dear, and let the words flow out of you. they don’t need to be perfect, but they still deserve to be said.

 

xo, jessica

Change | Journal Excerpts

Change has always been a good thing to me. I have embraced it with open arms every time. I can not even imagine a life where I am stuck with the same routine day after day. I do not want to sit behind a desk and watch my life pass me by. I want a career where I can explore different paths daily and have new adventures. I’m not sure where life will take me just yet, but I hope that it will bring me to change. Because change is the only constant that I want in my life.

//

I keep telling myself that my life won’t really start until I’m older. When I have a real job, and I’m living on my own. But life is short. And I don’t know how long I’ve got. So what am I waiting for? 17 years of precious time have gone by. It is time to go out and make something of myself. Live a little more. While I still can.

//

Her eyes lit up when she talked about it. She was so passionate about the art she created, and she couldn’t get her mind off of it. The happiness she felt when a paintbrush was in her hand was enough to make anyone smile.

– jess

Notes From My Journal

i stared up at the white, wispy clouds. the sky was a beautiful shade of ocean blue. you sat beside me and took in all my features. all my imperfections. i turned to look back at your emerald eyes and smiled. we were surrounded by the world, yet you still told me i was the most beautiful sight. i never felt as full and happy as i did in that moment. you handed my all your thoughts wrapped in a neat bow while i let out my deepest secrets in an explosion. we were total opposites. but when you said those 3 words, i knew that opposites really do attract.

i fall in love with the idea i create of people, rather than who they truly are. i have too much faith in people and in love. i am definitely a romantic. i try so hard to make relationships work, expecting people to change. i get my hopes up and end up disappointed every. single. time. it also makes it so much harder to get over someone. i only want to believe they are good-hearted, rather than face reality. but i would always choose to be full of hope than completely hopeless. because maybe true love really does exist.

you don’t have to have it all figured out. in fact, you shouldn’t. life is messy. life is unpredictable. things don’t ever go according to plan. just embrace every moment with a positive mind and see where the world takes you. the universe always has a plan.

you finally told me everything i always wanted to hear, but i realized it didn’t matter. i’m not the same person as a year ago. i know who i am and what i want. it just isn’t you anymore. and i’m sorry to myself that it took so long to realize my worth. but i’m okay now. i finally got the closure i needed so desperately and i can move on with my life. it truly is freeing to feel this way. i can finally be happy and be myself again.

ending

The Law of Attraction

A couple of weeks ago, I watched a Youtube video about the Law of Attraction.  I was super intrigued by it almost immediately. Since then, I’ve been doing a lot of research on the topic, and I thought I would give a bit of an explanation on it here in case you haven’t heard of it!

The law of attraction is a belief that the universe does things for you based on your thoughts. It says that everyone has the ability to “attract” the things they want into their lives. This can range from relationships, finance, and your career.

At first, I was super skeptical of this idea, but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. It basically goes along with the idea that a positive mindset will bring positive things into your life. Obviously, this is just a theory, and there is no definite proof that it will work for you. However, there are tons of success stories online of people who decided to try it out for themselves.

The same goes for negative energy, though. If your thoughts are very negative, the experiences you have will show that.

Basically, your mindset is super important when it comes to your own well being. I haven’t tried out this idea for myself just yet, but I really want to see if it is beneficial. You will not achieve any of your goals if you don’t think about them and ways to accomplish them. The more you think about something, the more likely you are to do something to get there. If you visualize what you want, it will come.

Have you heard about this theory? If so, have you tried it out?

ending

Life Update

I’m sitting in bed at 7:52pm, without a single worry right now. It is June 19th, meaning my last day of junior year. These past 10 months were my most stressful and lonely year of my school life. This summer will be a much needed break for my mental health.

So this is where I’m at right now.

I had grades lower than I ever thought I could, and I had a couple of breakdowns. It felt like I was slowly sinking lower and lower into a never ending pit. I was sad a lot of the time. I didn’t want to go out with my friends, so I just sat at home. I didn’t feel like doing anything.

I am finally getting over that. It is a slow process, but I am happier again. Currently, there is a beautiful rainbow outside my window, and I am listening to my favorite songs. This is what a perfect night looks like to me.

I have been drinking more water (75 ounces a day!) and my skin has cleared up a lot. I am also feeling better about my body and building towards my goal by working out daily.

I haven’t been reading as much as I want to be for the past two months. I guess I am in a bit of a slump. But I’ve been doing so much writing. My writing style has changed, and so has my perspective. I have improved drastically compared to my writing from just a couple of months ago.

I have also learned to be more patient, more humble, and more loving. I try to keep my mouth shut rather than arguing in some situations. Some people are just not worth the energy.

I guess that while this school year was tough, I know that I survived, and I only have another 180 days to go. I can do this.

ending

I Am A Writer- Finding Success

All my life I grew up thinking that the path to success was becoming a doctor, a businesswoman, etc. We all looked up to Elle Woods and her determination to become a lawyer in Legally Blonde when we were little. We wanted to be in her shoes. 

In 8th grade, I made the decision to attend a Vocational High School in my county, specializing in medicine. I was set on the idea of becoming a pediatrician because I was told it would make me victorious. 

After just a few months there, I was extremely unhappy. The classes that focused on the health field were my worst subjects. I couldn’t see myself a pursuing a career in something I hated so much. I knew I had to make some changes, but how?

Fast forward to the present time. I am a high school junior, and while I still attend the same high school, I’ve taken steps to create my own happiness. I take classes focused in business and english, even if everyone around me wants to be a doctor. 

I’ve also realized something else:
Success is not defined by the amount of money you make. Rather, it is how well you spent your life, who you chose to surround yourself with, and your overall level of happiness. What made me happy was writing. English class is where I excelled and could show my true creativity. 

I am a writer. It can be hard to admit. I never saw myself as a writer because I don’t have a published book, or a post written in Times Magazine. But, you can choose what you want to make out of yourself. You have the power to be whatever it is you want. 

I am a writer because I want to inspire people.
I am a writer because it allows me to express myself freely.
I am a writer because I have a love for words.
I am a writer because I wouldn’t be who I am without it.
I am a writer because it makes me happy. 

My goal through this post is for you to discover what it is that makes you feel happy. Find your success no matter what it takes. And no matter what, remember to be yourself. 

All the best in your journey. 

ending

The Good And The Bad

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Sometimes we laugh. Sometimes we cry. We are human. I cry over small things like a puppy getting hurt in a movie, or dropping my Naked 3 palette. But other times, I cry over fights with friends, or on the days where I feel completely worthless.

And that’s okay. You need to remember that the bad days don’t define you. You will have better days, and you will have days where there doesn’t seem to be an end. Remember that you are allowed to be upset, you just have to know when to be happy again. It’s not always easy, but if you really want to, you can find happiness, even in the small things.

The past year of my life, I have allowed myself to be hurt and feel pain with 100% of my heart, but only for a little while. Because of that, I learned to appreciate the amazing moments in my life so much more. I have learned to be okay in situations that used to make me really upset. I read a tweet that said, “If it won’t matter in 6 months, it’s not worth getting mad about now.” That really spoke to me, and I use it as a life motto now.

One of the worst things in life is having someone make you feel bad about being upset. They make you feel like your feelings are wrong. Please don’t ever feel like your emotions are not real because someone may have things worse.

Don’t get upset about the little things. Learn to let go, but don’t ever apologize for what you are feeling. You do not need to validate your feelings to anyone but yourself.

ending